Loving caring relationships

All relationships are important. If your baby or child sees kind and respectful relationships they will also learn to be kind and respectful.

They are the key to your baby’s and child’s development in all areas (e.g. brain development, social and emotional development).
They encourage their speech and language development.
They shape and build your baby’s brain.
They help – babies and children build confidence and self-esteem, feel safe and secure and to trust in others, help your child to regulate their difficult feelings- leading to fewer behaviour difficulties and can help to protect against anxiety and depression.
They can build resilience so that they will be better able to cope with life’s stresses.
Enables your child to build and keep healthy relationships as they grow up.

Helping to build loving and caring relationships in Pregnancy

Your baby develops all their senses during pregnancy. They can hear sounds by 20 weeks gestation. Your baby will know your voice especially, and anyone else in the family that they hear.

Your baby will be able to calm and soothe themselves by feeling and hearing your heart rhythm and by hearing your voice.

Even stroking your tummy and touching their feet as they kick can help baby to know that you are there, which can help them to feel comforted.

Notice what your baby does when you or your partner stroke your tummy.
Notice when your baby is more active? In the evening/when you are resting/when you are walking /having a bath?
Your baby will love to hear you talking, singing and reading to them. They will be getting to know you and your voice.
Imagining what your baby might be thinking or feeling perhaps when you are doing something such as walking or driving? What do you imagine the experience is like for baby?
Wonder what your baby’s personality will be like?
Making preparations for baby coming.

Helping to build a loving, caring relationship after baby is born

Babies are born ready to “talk” to you through gazing into your eyes, through their movements, facial expressions and any sounds that they make.

Ideas to help build your relationship with baby

Take time to get to know your baby by watching and listening to them and how they react to you and their environment.
Try to learn about their behaviours and cues such as different cries/facial expressions/sounds that they make and movements. Ask yourself what they are trying to tell you:

Are they tired? Bored? Hungry? Feeling alone? Wet? Do they want a cuddle?

Like any new relationship, it will take time to get to know your baby and it is normal to not know everything about them straight away
Sometimes we may not know what our baby is trying to tell us. For example, when your baby moves their arms and legs. Are they happy and excited or are they becoming unsettled and needing something else?
Sometimes you may not know until you try something and see their response- but try to give your baby time to
It will help your baby if you can wonder and guess what they may be thinking and feeling and also to understand that your thoughts and feelings may be different to your baby’s. For example when changing baby’s nappy, your baby may be crying and their arms and legs moving as though they are upset. They may be upset that the changing mat and baby wipes are cold; they may be feeling upset that their clothes are being removed quickly and they don’t know what is happening. You may be thinking that you want to change their nappy really quickly because baby is upset.

It may help to place a towel on the changing mat so it’s not so cold, if you slow things down and talk to your baby , telling them what you are doing and gently removing their clothes and nappy that this may then help your baby to keep calm and to not feel scared.

It is helpful to respond to your baby in a predictable way so baby learns what will happen next. When life is predictable this helps babies to feel safe and secure.
It is helpful to use:

Gentle touch

Gesture

Gentle voice (giving them the message that you are trying to understand them).

Helping to build loving, caring relationships with Toddlers

Your relationship may change with your toddler as they are learning to be independent and to be a separate person. Our job as parents is to help them to explore the world around them, being a safe pair of hands for them to return to when they need us.

Try to put yourself into their shoes and try to see things from their point of view, their behaviour may tell you how they are feeling as they are unable to tell you with words.
Give them your full attention for some of the time each day. Just 10 minutes per day of child led play builds relationships and allows you to learn about your toddler’s likes, dislikes, emerging thoughts and feelings.
Notice what they like and what they may need help with
Share a book with your toddler allowing them to turn the pages, point to the pictures, naming what you can see
Sing together: it can be helpful to have songs for activities during the day e,g, a bath time song, a bedtime song. This can help to make every day activities fun and predictable for your toddler
Share mealtimes together, using this as a time to connect with your toddler by talking. Fun mealtimes can help with fussy eaters too.

Building a relationship with your baby or toddler can be difficult and we all find being a parent hard sometimes. It can be helpful to share how you feel with a health visitor or your midwife. Your health visitor and midwife will be able to support you by providing a space to listen, suggesting resources that may help you, or putting you in touch with services/people in their team who can provide specialist help if you need it.

Infant Parent Services

https://www.stockport.nhs.uk/ServicesDetail.aspx?id=977

https://www.stockport.nhs.uk/ServicesDetail.aspx?id=867